Thursday, 26 August 2010

hello world

Wrote this to a friend and thought it was worth blogging:

Things I love:
Fine wine, cheese, thunder storms, the colour turquoise, big cuddly dogs, movie soundtrack music, trying to save the world in heated discussions, playing poker, war movies, bloody mary's on a sunday, heated outdoor swimming pools at night, kissing for hours, sitting on the beach at sunset, watching the stars at night, being on speed boats, playing in the snow, sitting under a big tree in the sunshine reading, walking in the woods, sea food, travelling, meeting strangers, driving fast, making love slow, philosophy, spontaneity, laughing till it hurts, galaxy chocolate.

Friday, 20 August 2010

A couple of days ago I was bitterly hurt.. for a while now I have been attacked by a certain person every time he see me.  He literally says the most outrageously rude things to me (not sexual things, unkind things) and because he is incredibly over weight and scary nobody says anything.  A couple of days ago I could not take it anymore, he was out of line and incredibly horrible in front of several if my friends and in a new colleague! I unfortunately burst into tears.. I don't know whether this was as a result of continuous (every time I have the misfortune of seeing him) bullying or whether I was feeling particularly weak, or what but it was awful, I managed to wait till he had gone out of the way but still I have gone over and over it in my head and I am strong, why didn't I just get up and say excuse me you are not worth my time and walk away.  Seriously I am furious at myself and I do not know what to do for the best... I mean you know that in society it is the one who appears stronger who seems in the right, but I just find that sooooo wrong. I will get over it, but to make it worse a new friend of mine then went on to another place with the arse who he had just met!  I feel silly and alone today guys.. any words of wisdom or advice of how to deal with the monster then let me know.

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Trapped Freedom

Here I sit, the office chair holds me in a little wheelie hug.  I broke up with dom dom the don last week, and it feels strange, like I have been in an accident, got up walked home and then realised that I have broken legs...

Luckily I started a new project this week with a company called centralnic, and everyone in the office is charming.  I took a moment to write to you all as I realise I have been a little distant, maybe now you realise why...

I am listening to absolute radio through my swarowski head phones (bargain in NYC on sale for 20 bucks).. I discovered the station yesterday, it is a total melange of styles which I like.  

One day I will share some of the journal which I started in one of my low points, but at the moment I feel a little too trapped to spread my wings.  

I am free from him and trapped by me

Thursday, 5 August 2010


So I decided yesterday I needed toget out of London.. The weather is more like October than August and quite frankly I needed clean oxygen.  Above is my country house where I am right now perched in a little all-wood-panel office tucked around the left corner of the building... big friendly dog lying at my feet (which are freezing btw).  Going to the kitchen for a large glass of delicious red wine to warm my cockles.  aaah relaxing is very hard to do hahaha!