Falling back in love

I have been very quiet lately... blog-wise I mean.  I have so much on my plate I look like a member of the Klumps at an all you can eat buffet!

The BBC having been following me around for this new documentary they are doing about young people about town, I have clients requiring attention daily and I am helping to organise The Victory Ball in aid of Help For Heroes on the 25th of November at the NAtural History Museum.

Not to mention my music manager Laurence in the south of France has sent me 2 tracks which I am supposed to have mastered and recorded but simply have not got the time! Oh dear when you havent got time what you love that cannot be a good sign...

Oh well the bills have to paid regardless and at the moment that involves hard labour and determination.

Hopefully one day it will involve signing the bottom line whilst sitting by the pool drinking a Mai Tai..

For now I am happy back with my man, who I have fallen madly in love with... I think maybe more than the first time we met... ah dom dom my shining star!

Wish me luck people!

There has been so much happening that I really feel as if I am living in a whirl wind.  I went back to my lover, and we have both been making a real effort to make it work, plus what can I say he bought me puppies... now no girl can resist! (unless you are cruella deville or allergic).  They are called Clio and Zeus and wait for images (they are on another computer).

I am attending the wedding of the first person from my group at school to get married on Saturday.... kill me now, what does one wear to a wedding these days anyway? so much easier when coloured skirt suits were all the rage, ahhh I envy my mother.

BBC 3 are putting me in some TV show as well, we start filming tomorrow, and they will basically be following me round for about 5 months.  All good, it might be good exposure for some of my clients...

hello world

Wrote this to a friend and thought it was worth blogging:

Things I love:

Fine wine, cheese, thunder storms, the colour turquoise, big cuddly dogs, movie soundtrack music, trying to save the world in heated discussions, playing poker, war movies, bloody mary's on a sunday, heated outdoor swimming pools at night, kissing for hours, sitting on the beach at sunset, watching the stars at night, being on speed boats, playing in the snow, sitting under a big tree in the sunshine reading, walking in the woods, sea food, travelling, meeting strangers, driving fast, making love slow, philosophy, spontaneity, laughing till it hurts, galaxy chocolate.

A couple of days ago I was bitterly hurt.. for a while now I have been attacked by a certain person every time he see me.  He literally says the most outrageously rude things to me (not sexual things, unkind things) and because he is incredibly over weight and scary nobody says anything.  A couple of days ago I could not take it anymore, he was out of line and incredibly horrible in front of several if my friends and in a new colleague! I unfortunately burst into tears.. I don't know whether this was as a result of continuous (every time I have the misfortune of seeing him) bullying or whether I was feeling particularly weak, or what but it was awful, I managed to wait till he had gone out of the way but still I have gone over and over it in my head and I am strong, why didn't I just get up and say excuse me you are not worth my time and walk away.  Seriously I am furious at myself and I do not know what to do for the best... I mean you know that in society it is the one who appears stronger who seems in the right, but I just find that sooooo wrong. I will get over it, but to make it worse a new friend of mine then went on to another place with the arse who he had just met!  I feel silly and alone today guys.. any words of wisdom or advice of how to deal with the monster then let me know.

Trapped Freedom

Here I sit, the office chair holds me in a little wheelie hug.  I broke up with dom dom the don last week, and it feels strange, like I have been in an accident, got up walked home and then realised that I have broken legs...


Luckily I started a new project this week with a company called centralnic, and everyone in the office is charming.  I took a moment to write to you all as I realise I have been a little distant, maybe now you realise why...


I am listening to absolute radio through my swarowski head phones (bargain in NYC on sale for 20 bucks).. I discovered the station yesterday, it is a total melange of styles which I like.  


One day I will share some of the journal which I started in one of my low points, but at the moment I feel a little too trapped to spread my wings.  


I am free from him and trapped by me

Daughter of Poseidon

Countryside

So I decided yesterday I needed toget out of London.. The weather is more like October than August and quite frankly I needed clean oxygen.  Above is my country house where I am right now perched in a little all-wood-panel office tucked around the left corner of the building... big friendly dog lying at my feet (which are freezing btw).  Going to the kitchen for a large glass of delicious red wine to warm my cockles.  aaah relaxing is very hard to do hahaha!

the world around us

There are always worlds around us.  Each of us lives in our own reality, whether we realise it or not is another matter entirely.

 I live in a world where music is constantly playing in my head, dark, dramatic, Romantic music.  Sometimes I feel like a vampire… more comfortable in the darkness, fearing the daylight; I have come to the conclusion this is because day time is truth to so many; why see naked truth when you can live in the land of the dreams.

It could be said I live inside my head, and yet I aware of everything around me.  I see them looking.. they think they see an easy blonde who can be bought. 

Do you believe in synergy amongst to people?

Each day we are living our lives and each moment we are changed, altered by the events which we experience, every night we go to sleep a different person.  So can there be unity?

I have grown like all of us, I have changed, I have developed, I leave the dreams in the shadows of the trees, in that green glow of summer.  I breathe the morning breeze and still remain surprised by all that which comes to pass on day by day.

If I think of how I got here, the places I have seen, the people I have met I feel tired, overwhelmed and yet peaceful.

So much more is still to come

Farewell

Today I left the place I've loved without a single tear.

Just quick good byes and suprised eyes,

Not a single fear.

I knew it wouldn't last forever, 

I hope that I am missed.

They thought that they were being clever,

What an ironic twist..

Good Bye, Farewell, I loved you

I am sure we will meet again.

When dreams are dreamt,

And said words meant 

And I will not think of then.

The difficulty

It is hard to understand the shape I take..

It is changing all the time

But if you take a moment to truly see

You'll find both the fire and the ice in me...

my lonely soul

Something has happened to me, this weekend I withdrew into my own thoughts.. I felt lost in a corporate world, much preferring to be creative and write poetry and music and contemplate philosophy.  Is there a being that could share my quiet soul... my facade is loud so playing the game is essential but my soul is quiet and sultry, in need of a companion to say nothing with.. a person to glide with through life without miscommunication.  Reminds me of the relationship between Edward and Bella. 

Dom loves me the way Edward loves her, but perhaps youth does not allow peace in a man..who knows..

The morning after the night before

So the day after J K's bash we joined a friend for brunch at Richoux in Mayfair and couldn't resist a spot of shopping at Marc by Marc Jacobs, by far the most delectable petit shopping experience in town!

Buddie's Birthday Coquine and Valmont

The delightful J K enjoyed her birthday in style with a spattering of close friends and as the pictures reveal a large amount of alcohol.  Laugh with me people, laugh with me!

Maddox Macy Gray Party

Top: Me and Julia Klimenkova, Middle: My lover and the great Chris Walker promoter extraordinaire, Bottom: The Gray lady herself

Dom Dom the Don

This is my lover in my bathroom...

handing in my notice today

so here I am on the brink of freedom.  Freedom to explore.  Freedom to make the rules.  Freedom to do something wonderful.  Here I come world I hope you are ready!

It is a nerve racking and unusual feeling.. knowing I am going to be free is something daunting and yet fabulous.  I am starting my own PR company and magazine, with the help of some dear friends. So I will give it all I have and lets see what happens! Ill let you know the name as soon as I have registered it! x 

fat versus thin

So I am divided ... I want to look like this

But I can't stop eating these

Which means I may very soon end up looking like this...

There is only one thing for it.  My new diet now will consist of water, water more water and perhaps occasionally a celery stick aaaah!

Until I look like this...

the ideas keep flowing

So thanks to my dear friend Richard I am now in the process of setting up my own company. 

I aim to provide top knotch PR to musicians of the world and there are some other potential clients in the mix too so what this space! more on that in the near future.

Indre of First Model management does incredible editorial shoot for MA-gazine

Indre was a shining star as she posed on the colorama for MA-gazine.  I was truly in awe of her ease and style at such a young age.. shot by Ewelina Stechnij

Daniel Heaton does editorial for MA-gazine

Daniel Heaton of MOT graced Model Advice with his presence as he shot this months editorial shot by Ewelina Stechnij...

I Soldier Barbie

 "soldier barbie" definition:

well presented young lady.  Loves fashion, beauty and other widely considered feminine obsessions however also loves war films, hanging with a group of guys and playing poker.  Has been known to take the opportunity to show her strength.  Is also known to get a suprise when she is not as strong as males.  Likes to be considered equal to the men and yet wants to be treated with chivalry.

Life as I know it

So over the last week my life has changed dramatically... - suddenly having an E14 post code was an enormous shock to the system as I have always been a W1/Nw1 devotee. However the sheer glamour of my new building Pan Peninsula is making it all worth while! Spent the first few evenings as a near hermit whilst enjoying the spa, gym and jacuzzi.. not to mention the sun bed! Have established the true meaning of public transport and this is surreal to say the least. Find myself feeling like I am stuck in Lost in translation most mornings.